Why Do Women Cheat?

Even though most women who engage in relationship infidelity understand on some level that what they are doing is potentially harmful to both their relationship and their partner, they continue with the behavior. But why? Below are ten common reasons for female infidelity.

  1. Low Self-Esteem: Women with low self-esteem, depression, unresolved childhood trauma, and similar issues may seek validation through romantic and sexual activity.
  2. Revenge: Sometimes women feel betrayed by their partner (usually either financially or sexually), and they use infidelity to retaliate.
  3. Loneliness and Neglect: Sometimes women feel more like a nanny, maid, mother, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. They may use sex outside the relationship to fill the emotional void.
  4. Lack of Sizzle: Some women miss the exhilaration of meeting, flirting, dating, and forming new relationships. They find their ongoing, stable partnership boring, so they chase the emotional high of finding and bonding with someone new.
  5. Lack of Sex at Home: Women are sexual creatures, just as men are. Sometimes they are more sexual than their partner. If so, this can be problematic. Rather than end the relationship, they may seek sex on the side to meet their physical needs.
  6. Lack of Intimacy at Home: Women, much more than men, feel connected and valued through nonsexual emotional interactions. So, even if a woman is getting enough actual sex, that sex may not be fulfilling her desire for emotional connection, and she might seek that connection elsewhere.
  7. Unrealistic Expectations: Some women expect their partner to meet their every need and desire. When their partner inevitably fails them, these women will sometimes turn to someone else.
  8. Lack of Female Social Support: A big part of healthy womanhood involves supportive female friendships and a sense of female community. Some women, especially those who experienced maternal abuse or neglect, undervalue this while concurrently overvaluing the attention of men. This can lead to infidelity.
  9. Wanting to Leave a Relationship: Some women who want to end a relationship find it easier to cheat, forcing their current partner to end the relationship, rather than ending it more directly or assertively. Other women know they want to leave, but they are not willing to do so until they’ve got another relationship lined up.
  10. Sex and/or Love Addiction: Some women engage in a never-ending stream of sex and romance to self-regulate (not feel) uncomfortable emotions and the pain of underlying psychological conditions like depression, severe anxiety, chronically low self-esteem, and unresolved childhood trauma (often sexual in nature).

Help is Available

Seeking Integrity hosts Weekend Workshops for Couples trying to heal after infidelity. These workshops are facilitated by renowned couples and sex addiction therapist Paul Hartman. Space is limited to four couples per session. Call Seeking Integrity at 747.234.4325 for information, pricing, and availability.